Old age rule number 1, do not use a ladder by yourself

Old age rule number 1, do not use a ladder by yourself

There is a saying, “no good deed goes unpunished.” That came to mind the other day when I was trying to help Joe. It took us a few tries to get a ladder into position so I could help him finish up some painting on the garage. In the process, we moved a shorter ladder to a spot near the other ladder.

Joe had already ruined one shirt that day and if it had not been for some quick action running them to the washer, he would have ruined another shirt and a pair of shorts. I’m usually a little neater.

I really didn’t do much to help, but I slapped some paint on one small area and then Joe left to run an errand. I was happy I did not ruin any clothing.

But wait. We forgot to remove the paint guide, which Joe had stuck in the top of the door frame. I got a lot of paint on it so I knew if we waited until later to retrieve it, it would probably be stuck on the door frame. I will just climb up the ladder and grab it to save Joe some work later.

So, up the ladder I went forgetting rule number one of old age – do not use a ladder by yourself.

I didn’t have any trouble getting to the top, I was a little worried about pulling out the two-foot-long paint guide, but I got it. The next challenge: Getting down the ladder without getting the paint that was on the guide on me and breaking my streak of not ruining clothes.

It all happened so fast.

I don’t remember if I used any hands to hold onto the ladder when I was descending but that last step was a doozy.

I stepped off the ladder, lost my balance and a major neck-breaking fall was averted when I fell into the other smaller ladder which seemingly suspended me in mid-air, and I flailed helplessly while trying not to get paint on my clothes and wondered what would happen next.

I didn’t even think about the small ladder being back there, so I couldn’t figure out what was holding me up. Then I felt something bend and it pitched me back upright.

Whew. What luck, I couldn’t do that again if I tried.

Then I noticed it. The fall had bent one of the hinges on the smaller ladder as it saved me from certain death.

One thing was sure, even though they make new ladders every day, and Joe could never get another woman as good as me, he’s going to be more concerned about the ladder.

So, I sent him a text message to help soften the blow.

It read: “Good news – I’m okay. Bad news – I lost my balance getting off the ladder and fell into the other ladder and you might need to straighten one of the hinges, but everything still works.”

Then for good measure I added an unhappy face and a shocked cat face emoji.

Soon Joe arrives home, and he immediately goes over to the ladders and starts folding them up. He doesn’t look concerned at all. I must be in the clear.

But you guessed it, he didn’t read my text. I explain what happened, embellishing a little on how lucky he is to come home and find me still alive.

He doesn’t care, it’s an $80 dollar ladder that was in pristine condition before I landed on it. When we got it out that day, he advised me not to get paint on it.

I personally would rather use something I don’t have to worry about getting a little wear on. It’s good to have cars that are pre-dented too, because then the pressure is off.

I’m happy to be alive and the real treasure that day – I didn’t ruin any of my clothes, my paint free streak is still going strong.